She reminds so much of me

Here is a picture of us at the East Side Gallery, where different artists painted a section of the Berlin Wall.

OK, the real reason that inspired me to write today's blog is that I know another mom whose daughter is a special needs child. She reminds me so much of myself when Jake was younger. She is consumed with getting as many different kinds of help as she can for her child, so was I; she is desperate in seeing some improvement in her child’s development, so was I; she is searching for a miracle that will end this nightmare once for all, so was I; she has so much fear that her child will not talk and walk like every other child on the street, so had I, and she is in so much pain for not being able to change the destiny of her child, so was I; she asks God, why my child, why me, why us? So did I.

It is almost painful to see someone experiencing that kind of pain as I experienced it. But I tried to share with her that, over the years, I have seen friends’ and neighbors’ babies much younger than Jake growing up and far surpass his development; and I’ve came to the realization that it is too painful to torture myself for not being able to change what it is. I remind myself often that it is not enough to want to improve his functional skills, but that I must celebrate Jake for who Jake is, proud of him for who he is, despite his disabilities.

So to my friend, I have no word that can ease your pain or take away your fear, but I hope you can find comfort knowing that you are not alone in feeling the way you feel.

We are back at last

Wow, it really has been a long while since I last wrote. In March, we went to Michigan for 3 weeks of intensive suit therapy. Jake made amazing improvement as a result. During the first 2 weeks, he cried so much and I felt so bad for him, even though his therapists assured me over and over that he wasn’t hurt in anyway. She said he was crying because the exercises were very demanding, and he was feeling muscle soreness.

Amazingly, during the last week, Jake began to take steps on his own, 2, then 4, then 6. Can you believe it, on the last Friday that we were there, Jake took around 16 steps on his own, and I have the video clips to prove it. Granted he hasn’t taken that many steps since then, but every time I watch the short clip, I am so proud of what he had accomplished, and I have so much hope that he will do it once again. For right now, he is taking 4 steps on his own more consistently.

Then in April, my husband and I went on a European vacation while my mom took care of Jake. In 10 days we visited Berlin, Prague, and Vienna. Vienna was my favorite city out of the three. The people there were friendly, and place was beautiful, the weather was great every day.

Jake’s speech therapist did a few sessions with him at my mom’s house. Grandma was absolutely surprised by the fact that Jake responded to every one of his speech therapist’s questions by vocalizing and pointing. She was very encouraged bythe therapist’s positive comments about Jake’s ability to communicate. Tomorrow Jake will have an evaluation done by the psychologist from the district, it is part of his turning 5 evaluation. Wish us luck!